Vulnerability

Vulnerabilty isn’t a topic that gets discussed openly in Germany. It is one of the reasons I so struggled in my own country. The country I was born in.

Germans tend to be cooler, more collected, they like to keep  a certain distance at all times. They are not a nation that can be described as emotional for sure. Living in Germany I was the one that was ‘exotic’ with a South African mother and an American husband. My thinking, my ways, my demeanor was always not ‘typically German’. It sure made me very vulnerable to feel so ‘misunderstood’ and it broke my heart when my business ‘failed’ in Germany, due to certain beliefs Germans hold such as, ‘What do you need a Life Coach for? Can’t you figure out and manage your life on your own?!” They really do not get the whole concept of coaching, mentoring, and supporting, and actually getting paid for that.

So with today’s blog post I bring to the table my vulnerability concerning the topic of feeling ‘misunderstood’, ‘not seen’ and a ‘failure of sorts’.

I am sure you can relate in some way. Even if you did not live my exact story, you have lived your own with the same nuances!

There is a collective vulnerability of feeling misunderstood, not seen, and a failure. It begins in childhood when we do something ‘wrong’ (but really we did not mean to and did not mean it to be perceived in that way!). So we get taught we are bad…..or good….depending on how it is perceived. We get ‘trained’ to think of ourselves in that way – eith good or bad!  We adapt accordingly. We try to live up to the standard that is expected of us. We do this over and over again, we try so hard….and still we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Of course we don’t feel seen. Of course!! But we keep trying. We really want to be seen. We want to be loved. We want to be understood!! We are going all out, trying so very, very hard to be ‘right’, to be ‘good’…… to ‘be successful’. And of course when we cannot live up to other people’s expectations we come to the very natural realization that we are not enough and therefore a FAILURE.

HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE….WHAT!? That is ridiculous, isn’t it? I can feel you realizing it as you read it and me getting all fired up about it as I write it.

Yet, that was my vulnerable spot for YEARS and years.

‘Nobody understands me.’

‘Nobody truly sees what is inside of my heart. All they do is ‘react’ to my personality.’ (that does not seem to fit the ‘expectations’ or cultural norm)

‘I am different.’

‘I have failed.’

HARSH, right!?

So here I am. In a new country. A new beginning before me. And I am reminded of that vulnerability, those experiences, that broke my heart. All I wanted to do is be of service. All I have wanted to do for so long is just serve with something that I am passionate about. All I want is to share my gifts, talents,and world service with the people around me that feel drawn to my message. service, and work.

Will America be the place where I can do that even though I ‘failed’ in Germany?

Will I be able to start fresh, release it all, let it go, move forward, and leave it all behind me?

I think so.

No, I actually I know so!

These days people see me. They see my light, my heart, my soul. They feel my passion, my world service. They enjoy me just the way I am!

Why is that you ask? Why is that my new reality these days?

It is my new reality because I have taken the time go inside, look at it, connect with it, and remove everything that truly isn’t me! I have TRANSCENDed. TRANSMUTEd. And TRANSFORMed.

….all the expectations.

….all the belief systems. The personal ones, and the collective.

…..all the ego delusions.

….all the fight, the struggle, and strife within.

 

And I have chosen to replace it with….

 

….absolute and unconditional love for myself, my body, and my life.

….heart centered action and soul aligned purpose.

….being okay with what is – flow, ease, and grace.

 

Could it be that my vulnerability is my most powerful asset to live a life that is true to my heart? Have you ever looked at it in this way? Today I invite you to do just that!

 

‘It is what it is. And it takes as long as it takes.’

Over and Peace Out,

Nadia.

 

Comments

  • Girl I feel you!!! Like your post gave me life I’ve been feeling like this for years, I really liked what you said about Like as i get older I’ve realized I’ve been playing a role and not being my true self and not doing what makes me happy to please others but only doing what they want me to do. I truly understood you I’m working on being true to my heart and making myself happy!! Really loved your post can’t wait to see more!

    IvanaOctober 23, 2014
    • Ivana, it really makes me happy to hear that you understood my post. And what a wonderful response you had ‘it gave you life’. Wow! Keep on with the happy. Keep on being true. Listen to your heart. You can do this! Yes, you can.

      Nadia KraussOctober 23, 2014
  • I love this post so much. I have recently done so much spiritual work of my own surrounding vulnerability and am actually working on a post about that very topic. It definitely is not discussed enough, anywhere!

    Meissa KrahenbuhlDecember 4, 2014
    • You go girl! Melissa, I am so proud of you. Yes, it is absolutely okay to show your vulnerability 🙂 Absolutely!

      Nadia KraussDecember 4, 2014

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